Tags
absent, Absent Father, book, Daddy Issues, dating, daughter, daughters, love, marriage, men., relationships, writing
So…I was suppose to talk about the Actress since a zillion years ago, but I’m having a change of heart about it. I’ve been going back and forth on this, but I think I want to save it for the finished product. I feel like, perhaps I’ve veered off the purpose of why I started the blog in the first place, which was to be about the ‘writing process’.
In giving a bit of all the profiles, I was having this fight between not giving so much that there’s no point in checking out the book, but giving enough to peek enough interest. The result was a mix bag of hit and miss because I am not truly able to dive into all of the nuances, give examples and stories…or even support the theory with data. If I did, again…I’d be writing the book on my blog, which defeats the purpose really. I am glad however, that I did veer down this path for a few reasons.
You know, sometimes you doubt yourself, and someone comes along and supports the very reason you doubted yourself in the first place. So you completely blow up everything you’re doing to appease or rectify that doubt. Someone told me that I, my personality was missing from some of the posts, specifically the profile ones. And I was thinking, well, I don’t have to inject myself in that, right. I was just giving information, but then I realize, nobody wants to read that…information for the sake of information. That’s exactly what I didn’t want!
When I first thought about putting rDNA on paper, I initially wanted to use celebrities as examples, at least the one’s whose lives are an open book. I thought it would be a great idea because rather than sticking in stories of people that you don’t know, why not dissect the stories of people most of us already know. I talked myself out of it, but I thought it would be a fun way to deliver the information along with the black and white facts and figures. Plus, we can usually see ourselves in other people’s problems better than we can see it in ourselves. When you’re being told, you automatically start looking for the flaws.
A great example comes from a friend I am helping out. (Hope you don’t mind me sharing this story – you know who you are! ; ) We figured out what she was, I explained to her why and her associated pattern of love. I thought I had her pegged, but after she read the description, she told me she didn’t think it was right. It threw me for a loop because unless she was wrong about her father, there’s no way she could be anything else. We hadn’t spoken for a couple days and when we finally linked up again, she told me, she wasn’t completely honest, and that yes, she was in fact what I said she was. Perhaps there were a few things about her rDNA that she didn’t like, so she simply outright dismissed it, I figure.
…we are doomed to repeat the same patterns of sabotage if we never wake up to the reality…
We talked about a few more things, but for a moment there, you know…that self doubt creeped in! I’m glad she was able to finally see it, because it gave me the confidence that one, I’m not coo-coo, and two, this will help truly help other women the way it helped me. I really feel like I was stuck in a love Matrix and took the red pill, now I can see everything for what it is, how we are doomed to repeat the same patterns of sabotage if we never wake up to the reality that is, our parents ultimately shape who we are…specifically, a daddy’s love is tied to a girls happiness.
If we are not conscious of the good and the bad, we will never be able to take control and steer the wheel in the direction we want it. Everyone deserves a chance at love. Some of us were lucky enough to experience it early on…some of us, will have to figure it out on our own. At it’s core, that is what relationshipDNA is truly all about.
Either way, that is what I will be focusing on from now on. I will add the Celebrity profiles into the book, I wasn’t going to do that anymore. Who cares if I get sued right? Would I get sued?… I want to be less clinical about the whole process, it wasn’t working for me, that’s not who I am. It should be fun as well as life altering. And yes, sorry, The Actress and Lioness will have to wait.
To be fair, I will leave you an interesting fact about the Actress. They majority of them are African American and Hispanic. Why? Single mothers = Absent Fathers.