So, I’ve wanted to do this for over 5 years now. I kept saying I was going to write a book which this blog is entitled, but do you realize how hard it is to actually write an entire book with more than 20 pages? It’s not that I couldn’t it, or that I’m short on content…I’m just not sure if I’m ready to devote all of that dedication and discipline, you know? I mean, it would cut right into my dessert tv time (dessert tv: television shows that you know are absolutely terrible for your brain…but it just feels so good to watch!Hmm…maybe I should start a blog about that…) My biggest problem is that I have so much to say, I don’t even know where to start. I’ll start writing and suddenly, I get a brilliant idea for yet another fantastic, super helpful relationship book. I stop and I start this new book idea and 30 pages in, I get another super fantastical idea that begs to be worked on. Result: 10 great ideas for awesome relationship books, with ZERO actual books for friends to read. And its gone on like this for years.
Recently, a friend of mine told me I should buckle down and get serious about it…about writing this book called, Relationship DNA that I told her about. Basically, its about my theories on why some people seem lucky enough to find love, while most others end up jumping from relationship to relationship, going on date after date, dealing with heartache after heartache, never truly finding complete and long lasting satisfaction and love in their romantic lives. The scariest thing is you don’t even know why! Heavy right? But it’s not really. The upside to lolly-gagging about it is that I’ve had to do a lot of research to support my ideas, and have refined and have discovered, added and changed a few things so that I don’t end up with something cute, but superficial and worthless.
At the core, the idea is simple. It’s all about why you’re probably still single. More importantly, it’s about why we women love the way we do. I believe the answer lies in what I like to call our rDNA, which is our relationship and dating natural ability. From an early age, we are wired to be drawn to, behave and think a certain way in our relationships with men. The real interest usually kicks in when I start to talk about the five different rDNA profiles. Yes…there are profiles…we’re all suckers for profiles aren’t we…Ooh,What am I? What am I! I’ll tell you, eventually. First, I should tell you how you get your rDNA. This might seem like a no brainer for some of you and if you guessed it, then you’re ahead of the curve. For women, it all starts with daddy, whether or not you knew him or not.
Professor Linda Nielsen of Wake Forest University set out to try figure out how fathers affect their daughters, distinguish the grades of quality and just how fathers are central in the personal development of their daughters. She, among others, believes that the quality of father-daughter relationships has far-reaching effects and has found that the quality of such a relationship is a direct affect of many of the troubling problems we face today such as, poverty, teenage pregnancy, sexual diseases, out-of-wedlock births, drug and alcohol abuse, high rates of incarceration and a whole host of other issues. This coincides with a growing number of research studies that finds that having a present, involved and caring father corresponds with a variety of healthy outcomes for children. Ultimately, the kind of relationship the woman had or has with her father will affect her relationship or marriage.
That’s right ladies. If you’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places, you can blame it on your daddy, present or not. Whether or not you’re in a long term relationship, your level of happiness will be affected by this very reason. I had one of those absent dads and early on in my life, I experienced the effects of having such a relationship. Drama! I’ll tell you all about it in my next post, called Daddy Issues, which will probably be the intro to the book. I think it helps lay out why I think the way I do about love and relationships.
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